There At The Sea

Lonely.
Afraid.
Insecure.
Desperate.
Tired.
Not words that inspire or draw others to your cause, not words spoken from an oasis, but utterances from a soul desperate for peace. A broken hearts cry for solace spoken through cracked lips from a long thirsty walk in the wrong direction. A walk discovered to be a wandering of chaos and destruction. A man shaken by the realization that the footprints he just discovered in the sand are his own.
“I am here again” falls from broken, bleeding lips.
The carcass of rotting flesh has drawn me. The bloated hearts craving has steered the ship aground on the jagged rocks of its own embrace.
Can enough condensation gather on the wool to drip the shattering wave of grace again?
Is there one more measure of mercy to sing to this numb heart?
Is God’s grace gone a distant echo heard only by ears long since silenced? A nice theory painted on stony walls?

Redeemed.
Bought.
Rescued.
Favored.
Beautiful.
Surely not words voiced by a scarred wanderer, to him they are mere whispers of fantasy encased in turbulent seas. Yet the powerful voice that calmed the storm declares with redemptive authority their truth. Thirst speaks its need loud and very clear. Hunger displays the utter weakness of the human condition. Blind from desert wanderings we are led by the hand to the well, ushered there to be brought back to life, to see again, to hear the birds song in the trees at the oasis of mercy.
There is not but a drip of grace but alas, an endless ocean where wave after wave of unmerited acceptance fall upon the shores of our lives. The hideous disfigured wandering soul, unrecognizable to those closest, is there at the waters edge, beautiful. Favored and rescued he lay, having traveled through the barren inner lands now recognizing those fruitless attempts at peace, only and finally covered and free, there at the sea.

Desperate Grace.

Having just returned home from a men’s retreat weekend with a group of guys from the Cornerstone, I needed some time to myself so I could rest, reenergize and reconnect with my family so I have taken a couple of days off. Today was a nasty March day here in Michigan with clouds, rain, melting snow and slimy mud. I slept in and looked outside and wanted to sleep in some more so I did! I have spent time reflecting on some of my motives in relationships and also spent time confessing my sin too. As I was walking today I was hit with the realization that no matter how “good” I get at life, no matter how much I kill sin inside me, no matter how many walls and obstructions that I overcome, I will always need Jesus. I will never get beyond a desperate need for Jesus. So we struggle with figuring out life and how we are supposed to act toward God and others. We confess our sin or maybe we run away from God in pursuit of fulfillment, identity, intimacy and admiration because life has become so hard and meaningless without these things. The truth is, that no matter where we find ourselves we will never outrun our desperate need for Jesus. Sure we go through seasons where circumstances have led us to believe that the whole Jesus thing was in our past and then grace smacks us right between the eyes and we understand again our desperation. May God fill you with a desperate grace to be connected with him today and all of your tomorrows too!
"Relying on God has to begin all over again everyday as if nothing had yet been done." C.S. Lewis

Flunky god.

Running has been difficult these last few days and so has walking. A few days ago I bruised my heal playing a new game with some energetic middle schoolers and I have only been on one walk since. I am trying to rest it a bit to let it heal (pun intended). However it is very easy, at least it has been very easy throughout my history, to run away from God when things aren’t in there regular routine. Excuse after excuse has piled up over theses last 22 years of following Jesus, NOT to follow Jesus. Many things garner my attention very easily. Hockey, baseball, hiking, online newspapers and blogs, television and more, the list goes on and on of convenient excuses. Things more thrilling, more relevant, more exciting almost always were chosen. I had attached my will to something so fleeting, so random, such flunky gods I would run after time and time again.

Peter Scazzero nailed me on this in his book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality when he said: “The problem is that we attach our wills to something that we believe will satisfy us more than God.”

What is that for you? What/who is your flunky god today? It will never measure up. It will always let you down in the end.

6 “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord continue to live in him, 7 rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith that you have been taught and overflowing with thankfulness.

8 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.”Colossians 2:6-8

Transcendence.

Gnawing at my insides is desire. Desire is a strange and perplexing thing. Desire can cause any of us to grasp for any one of a multitude of things.

“I want chocolate.”

“Man that taco looks good!”

“Boy is that a nice HDTV.”

“Have you seen the 2009 ZR1 Corvette with 620 horsepower?”

All those desires seem somewhat innocent and tame, especially when compared with desires like:

“Look at her!”

“Check him out, he must have it all together.”

“She would be the girl of my dreams.”

“I could have that too, if I had a rich old man.”

“If she was my wife, then I would be happy.”

Buddhists say that they key to life is removing all desire from your life, umm, good luck with that! Recently, stumbling upon this simple truth has helped me by putting into perspective my desires. Whatever the desire, Jesus is better. Jesus beats whatever this world has to offer hands down, not even close. Jesus transcends everything. Jesus is better. And here, in Westernized Christianity, is where our consumerist mentality can be so damaging because, do I want Jesus because he is better and being better can do any number of nice things for me? We wrap the universe up into our existence, and it is all about me, or do I want Jesus because he is the best person ever and the only relationship that anyone could ever be fulfilled in?

I want Jesus.

What do you want and why do you want that?

Will you consider that Jesus transcends that desire by a billion light years?

What will you live your life desiring?

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hears and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

Journeying.

As my journey of following Jesus continues and I pause and reflect on the place I am today and the long look back over the path that I have traveled. This summer in Montana along the trail that leads up and over the continental divide I paused for a few minutes catching my breath from the combination of the weight of my pack and altitude. I looked down over the trail that we had traveled. It had winded in and out skirting around the rugged mountain terrain, crossing cold glacier streams and climbing ever higher and higher. This picture is taken at that exact spot.

Today, pausing for a few moments of silence and reflection, I am feeling a quiet hopeful desire to know him more. I deeply sense that I should already have been to some places that yet lay off in the distance, calling me forward in obedience, forward in love, forward in faith. I am becoming more aware of myself, the way I think, what I believe to be true about myself, what drives me and this truly is a dichotomy. My selfish dark self often inflicts havoc on those close enough to me to experience its wrath demanding attention and appeasement. Have you spent any time lately thinking about who you are? Or perhaps with Christmas on the immediate horizon, the thought that God cannot possible be some impersonal force, as a friend of mine said this week. Have you considered your life’s journey in light of the cross? Who are you in Jesus and where are you in your pursuit of him?

I am deeply grateful to God for loving me even though he knows me inside and out. Travel On!

Symbiotic.

A symbiotic relationship is an interdependent relationship in which all parties are relying on the other. There are symbiotic relationships all around us: mothers, fathers and children form a family and families are a form of a symbiotic relationship.

Today during somewhat of a hurried walk, hurried because I inserted it between two appointments and hurried because it was blowing and stinking cold, I was “reading” the Bible and this section of Colossians was at hand:

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly…” Colossians 3:15-16a.

As I meditated on the peace of Christ, thankfulness and the word of Christ it struck me as obvious (I can be slow sometimes) that there is some real symbiosis between the three. They are so very interdependent aren’t they? Without the word, there is no peace and without peace I am not a very thankful person. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts. Let the peace of Christ have the ultimate reign in your heart. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, let it be what moves you and motivates you, what sings in your mind and whispers in your ear. With the peace of Christ reigning and the word of Christ dwelling, there can be no other response than humble thankfulness toward a loving King.

cORe.

At the core, the deepest part of you, who are you?

Are you the things that you own?

Are you the title you currently fulfill?

Are you what your mom or dad said that you always would be?

Are you the person that was teased for being fat or ugly or dumb or whatever labels that was attached to you?

Why this is so important, so central? It is because everyone operates out of their core. What we really believe lies buried deep in the nucleus of our souls and it influences everything we do. Our central appetite for approval must be fed and it is always fed through the filter of what we believe to be true about ourselves. Whether they are true or not that isn’t what is important, it’s what you believe them to be true about you, that is the place that we operate from.

One of the reasons that Jesus is so very radical or revolutionary is that he is a person that refuses to be an add on to our lives. Like a political button that we wear of our favorite politician. No, Jesus Christ is the heart reconstructing , image annihilating, throne destroying Savior of the universe that has a central message of grace. This message states that through faith we are accepted by God himself. Our new identity is the cross. It is a sign of God’s approval of us. God is pleased with us. God the Father accepts us for who we are, not what we do for him. I am God's very own!

That thought has made me smile all day today!

“If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation the old has gone and the new has come!”

2 Corinthians 5:17